Category Archives: death of a child


I first experienced the paralyzing affect of fear in September, 1979 when my twin boys were born two months premature.  I remember seeing the look of fear in my husband’s face.  I felt nothing; as if I was outside of my body watching from afar.  I didn’t understand this weird feeling because I was young and fear became part of my life for the first time.  

Thirty-nine years later with the experience of a life time of fear, disappointment and frustrations,  I now know exactly what happened to me that day in 1979.  I created a defense mechanism that changed my personality from a shy, introverted woman to a woman who had the ability to handle the stress of situations and help my young boys.  This new personality took over my body to give me the strength and unrelenting power I needed to overcome obstacles that presented me throughout the years, which were many.

For years I felt like I was living in a fog. I didn’t understand the phenomenon that took over my mind in 1979.

In 2010 when I retired from my job and finally stepped down from the unrelenting treadmill I was on for many years, my personality changed again.  It was like the two personalities within my mind were fighting with each other to take over. It left me feeling depressed, agitated and with that I developed an anxiety disorder.

With medicine and therapy I found a way to incorporate the two personalities into one.  I took on the power from personality two and regained the gentleness, passion and caring personality I was born with. This is who I am today.

No — I am not an acclaimed psychiatrist, I am a woman who lived through challenging years creating wisdom from grueling fear and frustrations.  I like who I am now and feel comforted in my new acquired self who can create a business and share my life with people who may have experienced what I did.

If you have any question about this post or want to share your similar experiences, please contact me here on my blog site.








How completely blessed I am to have found someone who has the ability to help me find my way back after many years of uncertainty. It was during our session yesterday when she helped me acknowledge, since 2006, after my son passed away, the deep anger I have so expertly hidden from the world and… Continue Reading


Fear is an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. In overcoming our fears we can move forward, stronger and wiser within ourselves. Can you relate to the above quote? Do you live with fear that cripples your potential for success? Are your fears keeping you from reaching your dreams and goals? If you… Continue Reading


I find myself with soulful thoughts today sitting at my table, once again, at a holiday craft show. Today it is very festive with Christmas music. The setting is in a Catholic Church and my table is facing the stage where all the exquisite raffle prizes are displayed in baskets so elegantly designed. As I… Continue Reading

A revelation

You  may have noticed changes in my blog both physical and content.  For example, I changed the name of my blog to Jude’s Inspirational Wisdom.  I believe it reflects the metamorphosis of my life since I retired five years ago. For the past five years I truly believe I was in the process of finding… Continue Reading

Feeling Blessed

i am sitting quietly in the comfort of my home just contemplating.  I decided to express my thoughts here because I feel this blog is my sanctuary, a place to speak frankly.  I never wrote in a journal before and wonder why?  I can imagine reading through years of my writings and glowing in my… Continue Reading

Trailer for Our Special Child:  Jason's Story My book is available from the publisher’s website and can be purchased directly from them in soft back and e-book. Pre-orders are now being accepted on Amazon.  Kindle books are not available at this time. To my dear friends, This book was written with love for my son Jason.  Because he… Continue Reading

My Book is Available I am extremely proud to present my book, Our Special Child:Jason’s Story. You can purchase it directly from the publisher’s site listed above in both book form or e-book. On March 17, 2015 the book will launch on Amazon where it will also be available as an e-book and book form. The back of… Continue Reading

Our Special Child: Jason's Story is Available

MY BOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR THE WORLD TO READ!!!! I am feeling many mixed emotions. The number one emotion, I am freaking out. For the first time in so many years my inner most thoughts from deep down in my soul will be shared. Yes, I know this is what I have been waiting for… Continue Reading