Category Archives: frustration


I first experienced the paralyzing affect of fear in September, 1979 when my twin boys were born two months premature.  I remember seeing the look of fear in my husband’s face.  I felt nothing; as if I was outside of my body watching from afar.  I didn’t understand this weird feeling because I was young and fear became part of my life for the first time.  

Thirty-nine years later with the experience of a life time of fear, disappointment and frustrations,  I now know exactly what happened to me that day in 1979.  I created a defense mechanism that changed my personality from a shy, introverted woman to a woman who had the ability to handle the stress of situations and help my young boys.  This new personality took over my body to give me the strength and unrelenting power I needed to overcome obstacles that presented me throughout the years, which were many.

For years I felt like I was living in a fog. I didn’t understand the phenomenon that took over my mind in 1979.

In 2010 when I retired from my job and finally stepped down from the unrelenting treadmill I was on for many years, my personality changed again.  It was like the two personalities within my mind were fighting with each other to take over. It left me feeling depressed, agitated and with that I developed an anxiety disorder.

With medicine and therapy I found a way to incorporate the two personalities into one.  I took on the power from personality two and regained the gentleness, passion and caring personality I was born with. This is who I am today.

No — I am not an acclaimed psychiatrist, I am a woman who lived through challenging years creating wisdom from grueling fear and frustrations.  I like who I am now and feel comforted in my new acquired self who can create a business and share my life with people who may have experienced what I did.

If you have any question about this post or want to share your similar experiences, please contact me here on my blog site.








Just a short post today. I woke up with the news stating our new president is Donald Trump. I am shocked. I am scared of the uncertainty of our future. How will this effect the lives of the disadvantage, disabled and the middle class? We will have to wait and hope for the best. We… Continue Reading

A Parent's Anguish Dealing with a Special Needs Child

I love to watch television and movies in my spare time. I am retired so I can manage my own time throughout the day. My television time is scheduled simultaneously at meals, late in the afternoon after a full day working in my studio, and in the early evening, after dinner and before I go… Continue Reading

Silent Tears

“A Strong Woman knows how to keep her life in line. With tears in her eyes, she still manages to say…I’m Fine! River of Tears by Eric Clapton I am the strong woman in this quote. For many years I needed to be strong so I could stay in control. Staying in control was the… Continue Reading

A New Painting

This young woman appears to be looking over to her left contemplating the real meaning of the quote. She is wondering if God really makes us strong enough to help the weak, rich to serve the poor, happy to cheer the sad and good to get us through the bad. Can God do all that… Continue Reading

Sacred Eye from Life Book 2014 Class

Do you like my sacred eye? This is another lesson from Life Book 2014. I had the quote sitting on my desk waiting for me to catch up with the lessons to create this. Interestingly I never cried throughout the challenging years with my son. I easily will cry with a sad movie, a sad… Continue Reading

Making Life Changing Decision

Have you ever had to make a life changing decision? Were you ever forced to make a decision quickly that would alter your life or a family member? I did. It was probably the most gut wrenching decision my husband and I ever had to make. I do not want to give away too much… Continue Reading

Strong Women Fighting Unknown Battles

I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor Enjoy my dear followers! Hugs from Jude Continue Reading

My Relationship with God

For many years I had a love/hate relationship with god. I was confused, frustrated, angry and somewhat baffled trying to understand who my god was. I was raised Jewish and I am proud to be a Jewish female. I attended Sunday school as a child where I was taught the history of the Jewish people… Continue Reading

Inspirational Thursday

I created this painting the other day. My first art show is the end of September and I am starting to design new paintings to show and hopefully sell. You all probably know my true passion besides writing and painting, is spreading disability awareness in my own unique way. This quote’s purpose is to inspire… Continue Reading