Category Archives: mental anguish

FACING FEAR AND ADJUSTING YOUR MINDSET

I first experienced the paralyzing affect of fear in September, 1979 when my twin boys were born two months premature.  I remember seeing the look of fear in my husband’s face.  I felt nothing; as if I was outside of my body watching from afar.  I didn’t understand this weird feeling because I was young and fear became part of my life for the first time.  

Thirty-nine years later with the experience of a life time of fear, disappointment and frustrations,  I now know exactly what happened to me that day in 1979.  I created a defense mechanism that changed my personality from a shy, introverted woman to a woman who had the ability to handle the stress of situations and help my young boys.  This new personality took over my body to give me the strength and unrelenting power I needed to overcome obstacles that presented me throughout the years, which were many.

For years I felt like I was living in a fog. I didn’t understand the phenomenon that took over my mind in 1979.

In 2010 when I retired from my job and finally stepped down from the unrelenting treadmill I was on for many years, my personality changed again.  It was like the two personalities within my mind were fighting with each other to take over. It left me feeling depressed, agitated and with that I developed an anxiety disorder.

With medicine and therapy I found a way to incorporate the two personalities into one.  I took on the power from personality two and regained the gentleness, passion and caring personality I was born with. This is who I am today.

No — I am not an acclaimed psychiatrist, I am a woman who lived through challenging years creating wisdom from grueling fear and frustrations.  I like who I am now and feel comforted in my new acquired self who can create a business and share my life with people who may have experienced what I did.

If you have any question about this post or want to share your similar experiences, please contact me here on my blog site.

 

Hugs

Jude

 

 

 

THE POWER OF THE MIND

For many years I felt like I was living outside of my body. I remember when this strange phenomenon began; immediately after my twin boys were delivered by an emergency C-section two months early. I was listening to the hustle and bustle of all the doctors and nurses around me intubating both boys and rushing… Continue Reading

Requesting Prayers

Last  Wednesday my cousin was in a severe car crash.  He underwent a nine hour surgery to correct damage to his facial muscles.  He is breathing via a ventilator through a tracheotomy.  Currently is spiking a fever due to an infection from aspirating pneumonia. No one should have to ordeal such tragedy.  His parents are… Continue Reading

Part 2 – Abanded Cerebral Palsy Victim

You, my friends, know how passionate I am about someone who is physically or mentally challenged.  I wrote a post previously about a young man abandoned in a wooded area in Philadelphia by his mother.  This young man has quadriplegic cerebral palsy, non communicative and non mobile confined to a wheelchair. I read several different… Continue Reading

Cerebral Palsy Victim Abandoned

Last week our local ABC Station in Philadelphia reported a young man was found in the woods in a park located in West Philadelphia.  He was missing for five days.  He was described to be a victim of quadriplegic cerebral palsy.  He apparently was left by his mother, covered with a blanket and a bible.… Continue Reading

LETTING GO IS SO VERY HARD

In 1987 when we were notified there was a bed available for Jason, I was filled with mixed emotions. I was his mother, nurse, social worker, therapist and advocate for eight years. Was I ready to give all this up? Was I capable and strong enough to let go? No I was not. At that… Continue Reading

A Parent's Anguish Dealing with a Special Needs Child

I love to watch television and movies in my spare time. I am retired so I can manage my own time throughout the day. My television time is scheduled simultaneously at meals, late in the afternoon after a full day working in my studio, and in the early evening, after dinner and before I go… Continue Reading

Take Care Of Your Soul

This painting is dedicated to all women who work a thirty-five hour day or more. This includes one who works a full time job and comes home to work another full time job as a wife and mother. Right… I am referring to you dear woman. I was this woman at one time. The painting… Continue Reading