A child should never die before their parent. The parent should have the ultimate reward of witnessing their child’s growth to adulthood, marry the love of their life and give the gift of grandchildren. When I gave birth to my twin boys, this was my dream and I never believed it would be any different.
I had the extreme pleasure to watch the growth of my son Michael to manhood. I witnessed his marriage to the love of his life and now share in the joy of their two children, and my darling grandchildren.
However, my son Jason did not live his life the way his brother did. He lived his entire life trapped in his body, a body inflicted with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy. On December 22, 2006, he passed away at the age of twenty-eight. Today is the eighth anniversary of his death.
I remember I was in my office at work after returning from sitting by his bedside in the hospital for a month. I left him after he reached a stable condition, waiting for a placement in a new hospital facility where they could provide better care of his fragile state.
I picked up the phone and heard a unfamiliar voice. He asked if he was talking to Jason’s mother and I replied, “yes you are.” He continued , “I am so sorry to inform you that your son passed away.”
I stared straight ahead trying to comprehend his words, which were extremely difficult to hear, and nothing else could be processed other than, “your son passed away.”
It is eight years today since those few tragic words were spoken to me through a phone in my office at work. I grew a lot emotionally since that day. I no long mourn his death, rather, I choose to celebrate his life. I believe God gave him to me for a reason. The reason is clearly stated in the poem below. Jason did not die in vain. God gave Jason to me for what has become very clear in the eight years since his death, and I will do my best to honor Jason’s legacy.
The following poem was given to me when Jason was only a toddler. I read this poem over and over again until I began to believe the words, and then allowed it to guide me through the remainder of his life. I would like to share this poem with you and with the hope it will reach another parent who has a special needs child and is looking for “the why me” as reason to believe.
Heaven’s Very Special Child
Written by: Edna Massimilla
A meeting was held quite far from Earth!
It’s time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the Lord above
“This Special Child will need much love.”
His progress may be very slow,
Accomplishments he may not show.
And he’ll require extra care
From the folks he meets down there.
He may not run or laugh or play;
His thoughts may seem quite far away.
In many ways he won’t adapt
And he’ll be known as handicapped.
So let’s be careful where he’s sent.
We want his life to be content
Please Lord find the parents who
will do a special job for You.
They will not realize right away
The leading role they’re asked to play.
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they’ll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge so meek and mild
Is Heaven’s Very Special Child.”
God took Jason back on December 22, 2006 and now Jason is my guardian angel who guides me every day and will do so for the remainder of my life. God Bless You Jason….I miss you!